What It Takes to Recover

As an educator of struggling readers, I am endlessly searching for ways to help my students persevere through the challenges that  lower their motivation, increase their fear of failure, and decimate their self-esteem.  Oftentimes, my seventh grader readers come to me after experiencing years of failure, of trying different strategies that have failed them, of working with various educators with whom they cannot connect.  It is my job to convince them that all hope is not lost, that despite the past, the present and the future can be different.  But, what I need from them is essentially the most challenging and fearful thing of all: frustration tolerance.

While searching educational TED videos, I found this interesting talk by Dr. Angela Lee Duckworth on grit, the ability to persevere.  And though I made instant connections to teaching, I also immediately considered the implications of grit on recovery.  Grit is the ability to press forward and endure frustration, pain, fear, etc..., delaying gratification until later.  Or, as Dr. Duckworth says, "Grit is sticking with your future, day in and day out, not just for the week, not just for the month, but for years, and working really hard to make that future a reality."

As a teacher, I witness this daily; students struggle to read, the gremlins warring in their brains--"you're stupid! you can't do this!" as students either press on, or in many cases, give in and listen to their gremlins.  As a recovering anorexic, I remember sitting through meals with my ED gremlin screaming "you're fat, you're worthless, don't eat!" as I slowly lifted fork to mouth, tears wetting my plate.

I longed for instant gratification, the endorphin high from running on empty, but giving in would simply push me farther and farther from recovery.  Giving in only fed the failure I feared, assisting the gremlins as they told me, "recovery isn't worth it, you can't recover."  To recover, I needed the grit to persevere through the pain of eating and the turmoil of facing my biggest fears and inner demons.  I couldn't just follow my meal plan for a day or a week, or even a month.  I needed to follow my plan for several months, a year, in fact.  I needed to attend groups, journal daily, do yoga, see my therapist and dietician weekly, and most of all,  I needed to retrain the voices in my head at every meal: "I deserve to eat.  I am beautiful."

To recover, I had to "stick with my future" and endure the present pain.  I had to be willing to take risks and realize that past failure was not, in fact, failure.  "Growth mindset," as Dr. Duckworth claims, allows us to view mistakes as inevitable learning opportunities that help us grow to reach our potential.  Each time I hit a bump in recovery, I learned from it, hit the reset button, and powered forward.  A "fixed mindset" would tell me that I would always be anorexic, that I deserved it, but a growth mindset, would help me to see that my present situation is not fixed, it will change and grow into something better.  This is grit.

To anyone struggling with an eating disorder, challenge your thinking mindset.  Switch from fixed to growth-minded thinking.  Find your grit.  Resolve to persevere.  My students prove to me, day in and day out, that it's possible.  I have experienced this possibility.  You can, too.

"Grit is sticking with your future, day in and day out, not just for the week, 

not just for the month, but for years..." 

Dr. Angela Lee Duckworth

Cheers!